Ooooo look at me I'm actually posting.

For those of you from who don't know, I haven't posted in about six months.:) Upon the encouragement of my dear friend and former roomie, Sarah, I decided to post. It's not terribly deep so don't expect too much.

Things I have learned from BMA BIble Institute:

• Prayer is AMAZING...a power we forget to use (i haven't figured out why yet)
• The book of Hebrews is deep, but my overall understanding of it is much better now
• My spiritual gifts
• Arguments can be both stimulating and exasperatting but I never seem to tire of them
• Its really hard for me to keep my mouth shut (this relates to the previous point)
• Some unsolicitted yet welcomed advice for my upcoming marriage :)
• Don't throw water on boys. They have better aim and can throw more of it back on you (this was learned through observation, I promise)
• God is capable of using people in amazing ways, even when they mess up big time
• I am not the procrastinator I once was and I'm trying not to be too proud of that fact
• The Great Commission is a command not a suggestion or an option

Ok, I think I'll stop now. I just want to say that I had a wonderful experience and thank you to all who helped bring that about.

I am very glad to home in this nice warm utopia, but I miss the new friends I  made.

If you want to know what's going on in my life right now, it's pretty much wedding planning in full swing around our place.

Smile and have a wonderful day.....

Oh wow! Look I'm posting again.

Today I felt like a little kid again. It was one of those Saturdays I used to have, at least the first part of it.

I slept in til 11 with mom getting after me to get up and help with the housework. After the work was done, steph and I went "exploring" up the creek and found a nice deep place to swim. And then, when we were done we came up to the house and sat on the sidewalk out front, wrapped in our swim towels (which have very much meaning in and of themselves*) and licked our popsicles as the sun warmed us up again and our popsicles began to drip. It was great. Wonderful afternoon followed by wonderful evening. I had a good day!

*Swim towels are those big brightly colored beach towels. When all of us were little we had to go through swimming lessons at a neighbouring private pool. We loved it. And we had these special towels that we used only then.The lessons were always in the morning and the pool was heated but as soon as you got out it was cold. The towels had been sitting in the sun and were nice and warm to dry you off. I know it sounds weird but that's what those towels remind me of.

I haven't posted in over month. Right now I just feel like such  a slacker, I'm amazed that I'm even writing this. Lately it's seems like I kept thinking of things to post about, but then I never felt like it or got around to it, like a typical slacker. So now, here i am posting but I forget all the great things I was gonna write about.

Yesterday I went on a walk with Kevin and we ran through somone else's yard because they had a sprinkler in it. That was fun.

Oh yea, now I remember one of the things I was gonna post about.

CHANGING:

I have learned over my extensive period of existance that things change. But it has only been in the last while that I have learned that people change too. And still even more recently that I have come to accept that that is ok.

Whenever anyone has looked at me and told me "You're different than you used to be" I immediately begin to freak out. Sometimes I freak out for good reason becuase I've been acting like a jerk. I just heard it again the other day and I still felt that little voice that insisted that I'm still the same, but it didn't worry me quite as much as usual because I think I finally realize that it's normal for people to change.Not that they totally change but maybe it's mostly their perspectives that change. I'm not the same person as I was in high-school, and neither are my friends or maybe I should say that our perspectives are different now that we're on the other side of our school days. Things are different. They will never be that way again. Being a sentimental person, that thought has often saddened me because especially the last years of high-school were a lot of fun. But I think that I'm finally learning to accept that life goes on. People change, you love them as much but they can't stay the same. The experiences we have shape our lives. We can't live like we did before we had those experiences because our perspective has changed.

I just hope and pray that as I continue to experience life I will continue to change my perspectives so that I can see the world and my life more as God sees it. I pray that the experiences I have will have positive, not negative effects. And I think that's our choice. We can see someone in need and realize that there are many people like them, with the same need, and we can choose to help him/her. Or, we can become aware of this persons great need and realize that you can never extinguish it from the lives of everyone suffering in such a way, and become cyinical and refuse to help the few that you can.. I pray that change will continue in my life. Changing me more and more into the image of Christ.

Sometimes it's sad to see good things come to an end, but just think of it as a journey. There are many more great places to go. Embrace it.

Can you believe that I am actually doing something I was tagged for (by Phebe about 5 of her posts ago). I don't really have any long preamble to this so here I go...

I AM: tired. That's about all I can think of to describe myself right now because it seems that's all I am.

I WANT: the ability to give my undivided attention to multiple peoples at the same time.

I PRAY: for peace instead of fighting. Not the physical wars, but the wars of our relationships, with our families, friends, and enemies.

I HATE: when people say they will do something and don't. I hate it even more when I do that.

I MISS: my schooldays, a little (you can blame Lyndon's graduation last night and looking at old yearbooks) but I really like my life that I have now better then the one of my schooldays. 

I HEAR: silence. The child I've been babysitting is finally silent. He's asleep.

I WONDER: what really happened those times I set my alarm and it never went off.

I REGRET: allowing much mediocrity; not being more driven.

I AM NOT: a perfectionist.

I DANCE: when I feel led.

I SING: , usually I just belt it out.

I CRY: infrequently, but usually over trivial things, I know...it makes no sense.

I AM NOT ALWAYS: patient

I MAKE: ...mistakes? Does that count?

I WRITE: meaningless paragraphs, except their not meaningless to me.

I CONFUSE: unimportant things with important ones. I make big deals over little things, and not big enough ones over big things. I can really be annoying sometimes.

I NEED: to worry less.

I SHOULD: Pray more.

I START: projects. Finishing is kinda hard for me sometimes, but I think I'm getting better.

I FINISH:  the last of the pop in the can.

WELL, talk to ya'll later

I was embarressed today.

It's embarressing when you buy a drink at a coffee shop and forget to pay becuase you're talking so much to the owner that you know reasonable well. It's embarressing to go back and try to pay and they won't let you because it's now a gift. It's embarressing not only, but also because you went down to the coffee shop partially to get out in the sun( I was walking) but also to ask the owner for a donation for a cause you are trying to raise money for.  wooops.

Nastalgia: I know that this is what I am destined to feel when I drive through peoria this summer and see the fields filled with combines. It is an extremely boring jobs and I'm looking forward to a summer without it, but there is just something about not being apart of harvest around here that makes you just a little bit out of it. It means that you work crazy hours, have no social life, and never look nice....for weeks on end, sounds like a ball. But, there's just something about it, that I really don't know how to explain. I don't know why I'm writing this. The nastalgia hasn't even come yet, but I know it will. At least I'm prepared for it.

I'm looking forward to summer without the ties of harvest and combining. Kevin is working in a warehouse during harvest, but its real close so at least I can visit him.:)

Well PEACE OUT to Justin

And to the rest of you, thanx for reading this discombobulated post.